Follow Up

Today I had my first physical therapist appointment after surgery and things went great. He said that I couldn't be doing better right now and that I am actually doing better than what they had expected at this point. I am officially off bed rest and I do not have to be in the CVM machine anymore. Whoo Hoo!!

I have been pretty hard on myself, but I do have to realize it hasn't quite been a week since I had surgery, and I think I am doing great. They are going to do an x-ray and remove my stitches next Wednesday, so until then I will just continue with the therapy exercises and try to push myself into getting better. I have a really good feeling about all of this, like I am going to be a better person once it is done.

Thanks for all your support, I couldn't do it without any of you.

Knee Surgery

Well, it is over, the knee surgery went very well. I came home from the hospital on Friday, and I have been sittin' my fat ass in bed ever since.

Re-cap of all the events-

Going to sleep- Being put under anesthesia is a very weird feeling. One minute you are awake, the next minute you are in recovery feeling like shit.

Morphine sucks. After the second dose they gave me, I asked them to never give it to me again. It makes you feel uncontrollably tired and nauseous beyond belief. I feel asleep trying to eat a craker while talking to someone.

Slumber Party in the Hospital- Addie and Nikki spent the night with me in the hospital. They were so sweet and helpful, I just love them. The nurses were real cool too, they didn't say anything about them being there, even though everyone on the floor, but me, had to share a room. The girls got to sleep in the hospital bed next to me.

The first meal you can actually eat at the hospital taste fabulous. That's right, an egg salad sandwich at 10:00 at night may have been my best meal ever!

You never sleep in the hospital. I woke up at 2:00 in the morning to pee, and needed a pain pill but didn't want to bother them, so I just laid there hoping I would fall asleep, but didn't! Nikki woke up at 4:00 and stayed up with me. We decorated my TED hose, the cute little white tights they make you wear for a week. We drew all kinds of cute stuff on them like skulls, pirate stuff, flowers, a cute little cow, etc..., etc... I will attach a picture later.

Physical Therapy is so much harder than you think it will be. Sure, when they are teaching you the exercises to do they seem super simple, but fuck me! They are actually very hard! I did far more than they thought I would be able to do the day after surgery, but I was so into proving I could do it all, that I totally forgot about the fact that I would eventually feel it. OMG, did I ever feel it!

Friday was a series of mental breakdowns. I was waiting too long to take my pain meds, as I thought I was too tough too take them as much as they said I should be. I finally realized that taking pain meds was going to be critical in feeling better, as it is impossible to do physical therapy when you hurt so bad to begin with. I told myself I am not weak, and I wasn't going to let it get to me. Pretty much since then I have been doing good.

I have been just laying in bed, watching movies, having visitors and sleeping since Thursday. I am just excited to be able to get out of bed and start moving again. Hopefully I will be a new Heather once it is all done.

Happy Brithday Goonie!!!

Today is the 14th anniversary of Addies Birthdate. Ahhhh, it seems like just yesterday I was a young girl (17) about to pop out a baby I had no idea would change my life so much. From the moment that gorgeous child looked at me, I was hooked. She has given me so much in life, and I don't even think she knows it. When I had her, I was in a pretty bad place. Everything seemed scary and unsure, but she made me realize that there is nothing in the world I will try harder for than her. Now, three kids later, I still feel the same way.

Thank you Adykinz for just being you. I love you and hope you have a great Birthday. Don't worry about cheerleading tryouts, you are awesome no matter the outcome!!

Birthday Party Weekend Roundup

Noah and Adison have their Birthdays 3 days apart, so it is always so crazy for us. This weekends events have made me thankful for two very important things.

1- My children who I adore immensely

2- Gabe's vasectomy

On Friday night we had Noah's which consisted of a sleepover with 5 other children, 3 boys and 2 girls. I obviously didn't think of the intermixing of gender to be such a big deal when I passed out the invites......stupid me!! The girls pretty much just wanted to chase the boys all night, and they just ran away from them trying to play other things. Our house echos really bad, mostly I think because of the lack of decor on the walls to absorb some of the sound. We have always noticed it, but when you add a little girl that screams when she talks, all you can think is, "Good Lord, what the HELL was I thinking!!" I was worried about my house be ruined, but I just kind of shrugged it off with the attitude that they are kids and this is what they do. I only had one activity planned, and that was for them to make their own lasagna for dinner. That was a lot of fun. Noah has this friend named Luca that just moved here from another country. I always hear about how smart he is, that he can speak and write Chinese, write cursive, etc..., etc... Well, he is very polite, so imagine my amazement when finding out he swears like a sailor. We heard words out of that boys mouth like, badass, bitch, and something about an asshole. They were never directed at anyone in particular, more like words that just flow out of your mouth in general conversation. The next morning we woke up and went to see 'Meet the Robinson's' then that was pretty much the end of Noah's party. I am leaving out some major details, but must withhold, as I have no idea who if certain individuals read this blog, and I would hate to offend.

Saturday night we had Addie's sleepover, which I had made plans for us to make a slambook and a project I found to 'Make your own Bathsalts' Neither project happened, they just went off on their own and did their thing. That is cool though, I am glad she had fun. During cake time, a lot of her friends were fascinated with the lighter. What??? Silly Mormons. We heard various funny questions coming from their mouths, none that I can remember though. They woke up around 11 o'clock, ate their cereal and went home. I honestly thought that it was going to be much worse with the 14 year olds, but the 8 year olds turned out to be the monsters.

Today we had the family over for dinner and cake. We had Meatloaf, Mashed Potatoes, Peas and Salad. It was super yummy. I thought Noah was super cute when he was opening his presents. We would run and jump on people laps to thank them. Addie didn't seem too excited about anything, but the poor girl has soooo much on her mind. She has cheer leading tryouts tomorrow, and it is all she can think about. I have to say though, it was so neat, at least for me, to be able to have the entire family over at 'our house'. It is a first for us, as our last house would not be able to handle it with everyone here.

But, it is all over with now and I survived. I will forget about it next year when I plan a party and will be reminded once I have repeated the same mistakes.

Happy Birthday Noah

Today Noah turned 8 years old. I can not believe he is already 8. There is something so unique about Noah. Besides the fact he has a special heart, he is the most creative person I have ever met. He is a down right turd sometimes, mainly to Addie, but he is also so tenderhearted and sweet.

I secretly hope he becomes a great tattoo artist, then I can fill my body with his work and walk around telling everyone, "Hey, look what my kid did!" I know, my aspirations for my children are a little troubling at times.

The Future Jack Sparrow

That's my little Pirate!! Intead of Rum, he prefers Ice Cream and Cake.

That makes him more like his Daddy!!

When I say Daddy, I mean Daddy Gabe, not Johnny Depp.

The DNA tests are still out, I will let you know as soon as we hear back.

New Hair....

Don't you just love my new hair?? I think it looks like Neapolitan Ice cream, (brown, pink and blonde) I seriously want to lick my own damn skull!! I think next time I am going to add blue streaks as well. I really look pissed though don't I. If you didn't know me better, you might guess I was a raging bitch.......oh....hmmmm.....well...whatever!

Awwwwe...I Wuv Him!

That's all, I just wanted you to know.

Ahhhh...Memories...

I was taking a stroll down memory lane, and started thinking about the things that reminded me of being a teenager, and I came up with the following list of tags that would describe it-

Black Leather Jackets

KJQ
Black Nailpoilsh

Mosh Pits
Black Lipstick

Scamming
Disintegration

Slam Books
Pretty Hate Machine

Eternity Perfume
Nevermind

Dr. Marten's
Body Piercings

Sleeping out for Concert Tickets (The Cure-Front Row!!!!)
Dance Clubs

120 Minutes
Clove Cigarettes

Red Henna
Making Movies

Striped Tights

Starburst Wrappers

This list could go on and on, but that is a good start. And for those of you who think that sounds odd, back off, it was some of the best times of my life.

One month ago today....

It has already been one month since my fainting accident, and I am well on my way to putting it all past me. After a roller coaster ride consisting of numerous tests, waiting and doctors appointments, I have pretty much been given a clean bill of health. I could not ask for a better outcome.

Here are some beautiful pictures of the 'OUCHY!!'

This one was taken the morning after. There is a lot of swelling, in fact,

I could not open my eye at all. The bruising hadn't really started yet though.

This one was taken a long time later, after the swelling had gone down and the bruising was starting to go away.

I still have a few issues from the fall, like I have a hard lump in my cheek that doesn't seem to be going away, I don't have feeling in part of my face, and of course, the scar. But overall, I must admit, I looks really great compared to the first time I saw it at the plastic surgeons office.

So no more calling me 'scare face' or 'scar-y', okay??

Food Find

Well, you can always count on a fat girl to scope out some good eats, so here it is-

Disney Birthday Bash Ice Cream

It has the following-

Cake Batter Ice Cream
Sprinkles
Frosting

Hello? Did someone say fabulous?

Buy it, try it, thank me later.

Snow Patrol is soooooooo Awesome!!

Last night, Gabe Kim and I went to the Snow Patrol concert. It was a Christmas gift I got from Gabe. I have been looking forward to this night for a looooong time. Well, anyone who has heard Snow Patrols' albums know that they are so unbelievably awesome. Let me tell you, they are ten times better live, which I think all bands should be, but aren't. Nothing is more disappointing than buying tickets to a concert to see a band live, only to discover that they don't live up to all the editing and mixing and sound adjustments made on their CD's. Well, I can not stress how completely unbelievable Snow Patrol was. Their light show, their interaction with the audience, obviously their music and lyrics , their energy that completely fit the mood of every song, every moment of it was just unreal.

Well, with all that said........I can not stand some people at concerts!! Who doesn't want to spend money to go out and have a great time?? But have you ever been to a concert where people around you just put a damper in it?? Snow Patrol have some songs where there is a build up in their song....then it stops....silence....then it starts again. It is a very powerful moment in the songs, but for some reason, the dumb snatch next to us chose those very moments to scream, giggle, yell about the beverage in her hand, whistle and just annoy the shit out of us. The guys she was with were ridiculous as well. She was the kind of girl I associate with bar trash. She has been there since she was young, and will be there well into her 50's. I swear she was about 5 seconds away from pulling up her top and showing her tits to everyone. I know this may be normal practice at some concerts, but seriously, I am convinced she had no idea who Snow Patrol even was. I was about 5 seconds away from giving her a nice punch in the ol' baby maker, a nice kung fu move right to the cooter. We decided it would be in our best interest to leave the bar and go back downstairs, where the young kids are, where we could actually ENJOY the show! It is pretty sad when you leave the adults to play with the kids, but let me tell you, it was way more rad, and they all seemed to get it.

With all that said, it was such an awesome night, and I hope to God they come back soon!!!!

30th Birthday Shout Out....

Katie, oh how I wish I could be there celebrating your 30th Birthday with you. I swear it was just yesterday we were eating cream cheese stuffed french toast served to us by a very attractive waitress, sitting by a roaring fire and just enjoying each others' coziness. You have forever made your mark on my heart pretty one.

I was browsing on Hot Topics website, which, where else would I go to think of you? Well, I am afraid to inform you that the dead girl (not Mickey) shirt is gone. I have found a few other options though, just say the word and they are yours!

First we have a t-shirt, not at all resembling the 'classic' one which I own and you envy, but it does have a dead girl on it, so the theme still applies here.




Next, we have my favorite, and I am sure it is yours as well. Everyone who knows you, knows that you love purses. Well, my God, if I haven't found the perfect bag for you!! You have two adorable puppies, and what better way to remind yourself of them than this bag?

Like I said, just say the word and they are on the way to you. I seriously hope you have a great time, whatever you do, and just remember, I am there with you in spirit. Can't you feel me next to you by the angry lake? I am there.......with you......

He's a fine piece of ass though too...

YUMMY.......

THIS ONE WILL KEEP ME HOT FOR DAYS

DAMN DOG......PULL HARDER YOU SISSY!!!

I never listened to Marky Mark back in the day, so he is not ruined for me. My God, is he fine or what?? I have seen Boogie Nights, and for those of you who haven't, GO SEE IT!! I know it is just a prosthetic, but c'mon, it's fun to visualize. And I know that in the movie Fear he plays a bad, bad guy, but that scene with him and Reese Witherspoon on the roller coaster is ......HOT!! Excuse me, I need to go take a bath in my jetted tub....

The thing about doctors is this....

I am sick of them!! Don't take that as any kind of indication that I don't want to fix my broken ass self, but I have had it with them. I have gone through so many various tests, and I still feel like we are just waiting to see what the next doctor says. I go to a doctor, pay my co-pay for her to order an echo cardiogram, then I go and have the echo cardiogram at a different hospital, then I have to go back to her again, pay her another co-pay so she can read me the results? Isn't that ridiculous? What if I didn't go back, I just wouldn't find out the results? I know, I know, it is just a co-pay, but it is the principle of it. I am paying to find out the results of a test. That my friends is FUCKED UP!! I can't even begin to count how many co-pays I have paid in the last 3 weeks, and that doesn't include any medical bills for the CT Scans, E.R., Echo, Event Monitor, etc., etc. Now I have to go and see a cardiologist, which I am sure would like to run more tests.

I am not trying to complain, I have insurance, I am lucky, I know this. I am just getting sick of seeing one doctor and being sent somewhere else for a test, then back to that doctor who sends me to another doctor----the cycle just doesn't end. No matter what happens, I want to figure out what is going on. My family means everything to me, and I will carry on no matter what, I am just getting burned out.

Gabe made one good point though, I will hit my out of pocket max. for the year pretty quick. At this rate, by the time I have knee surgery in April, it should be free. Always the light at the end of the tunnel, isn't he??

Life is Good

Disfigured

I am sure everyone has heard about my accident on the 9th. I can't even begin to tell you how many emotions I am having about the whole ordeal. I fear that they won't find a reason for it. Okay, fine, I know people faint, but looking back I have quite a history of it. This is the first time I have been hurt though. Not only hurt, but disfigured.

I am not trying to be vain, but when the plastic surgeon took my stitches out on Friday, I just about lost it. It was not at all what I was expecting. He didn't want to let me look at it, as he said it would not make me feel better, only worse. Well, that's a great sign. Well, after inspecting it in the hand mirror, I wanted to throw it against the wall. He couldn't believe it hadn't healed better, so he taped it tight and told me to leave it that way for another week. It is horrible, and I honestly don't know when I will ever be able to look at myself in the mirror without crying again.

I am sick of carrying around this heart monitor, I am sick of waiting for doctors to call me back, and I am sick of everyone telling me it wont be that bad. It's not your face, it's mine. And now I have to learn to accept it for what it is.

Charli Jane

Meet Charli Jane. Isn't she just beautiful?? You guys always hear me talk about my family in Minnesota, and she is the beautiful offspring of two of the best people I know! (Katie and Sean) She is almost 5 months in this picture.

Do you know what is even cooler about little Charli?? She was born on 'National Talk Like A Pirate Day' Well, that puts her in my top ten right off the bat! I think she needs a little pirate hat in this picture, what do you think?? Arrrrrh...

Things I want to be

I am always thinking of things I want to change about myself, and I must say, the list is MIGHTY long! Well, for starters, I want more tattoos. I want them on my back, on my arms, and I even want one on my wrist. But for some reason, I always feel like I have to reach a weight loss goal before I allow myself such luxuries. And yes, I do consider tats a luxury, do you know how fucking expensive they are?? Dang!! My current wish list includes the skull design from an earlier post, a sexy pirate chick, finishing a lower back piece with my ankh, little cherries at the side of my cha-chi, and an upper back piece including a heart with sparrows with a banner around it and stars. I will be the prettiest ever! I am getting my Monroe pierced. Gabe actually agreed, hesitantly, but he did agree.

I guess all I really want to be is a Suicide Girl. I want to lay around naked having my pictures taken with my kick ass tattoos' and piercings. That's it, I want to be a Suicide Girl!!

I DID IT!!

For over six months I have been trying to reach one goal. I want to click my heels in the air. You know, like the old 'Oh what a feeling...TOYOTA' commercials?? Well, after months of pure humiliation at trying to attempt my goal, I have finally landed the heel click. Not once, not twice, but three times in a row!! Holy shit, it was awesome. I don't know if I will ever be able to do it again, but dang, I looked good!

Don't cha wish you had goals like me? Don't cha??