When I think about you I touch myself

Melissa sent me this picture from Italy while she is on sabbatical. She knew I would like it.

How could you not, that is classic!

Reason # 87

Reason #87 why I should move to Minnesota....

It was 90 fucking degrees yesterday in Salt Lake City.

That is fucking ridiculous!

"Crazy Bastard Runs yet another Marathon"

#1 Reason Gabe is Amazing

Today Gabe ran his 6th Marathon. It is the 3rd time he has ran the Salt Lake Marathon, and he got a new personal record. He is fucking awesome, every time I see him run one-I just feel so inspired-that is until we go to lunch after and I forget all about the exercise and healthy eating habits. This is the first marathon ever that I haven't had my trusty sidekick Melissa with me as she is off on sabbatical in Europe for three months. I missed her tons, as it is 'our thing' to watch Gabe run. I took the kids along with my Mom to be the cheerleaders this time. I love having the kids cheer their Dad on. I don't think they have any idea what an accomplishment it is, but they get a kick out of it. I must admit though, it is funner for me to see him run one out of state because I get a free vacation out of it! He is running two more this year, one of them being Vegas in December. Fuck ya! I already have my idea for the sign I am going to make, but I can not post it, as I want it to be a surprise.

#2 Reason Gabe is Amazing.

He knows me more than I have ever given him credit for. He presented me today with the coolest gift ever! It was a pirate basket, all things pirate. It contained some press on tattoos, a patch, some socks, a pair of pirate underwear, a bottle of Sailor Jerry's spiced rum, a mixed cd, and finally, a pirate movie that is just for me him and I. What the fuck? Is that the coolest gift ever?? I have already tapped the rum and am buzzing right now.

What a great day. I paid dearly for all the excitement this morning. I am swollen an ugly, but that's cool-no problem.

Oh, when we got back from the marathon I had just missed my friend June who was coming by for a visit. She dropped off yet another rad gift. They are Sketchers flip flops with skulls and hearts all over them. Seriously, two fucking awesome gifts in one day.....what is a pirate to do?

Bad Idea

As I attempted to put on a pair of Levi's today, I reflected on the past two weeks and thought to myself, "Maybe it wasn't the best idea to eat all the good comforting foods people brought me while I was stuck on bed rest wearing only stretchy pants"

Oh Dang!

Dear Knee...

Dear Knee,

I am frustrated at how you will not move like I want you to. You are swollen and ugly, and quite frankly a HUGE pain in my ass. Well, guess what? I am going to do this physical therapy, and deal with this pain and anger and I will make you my Bitch.

So take that!!

H

Be careful what you wish for

I always wanted to be a pirate, and let me tell you, I am well on my way!

I have-

A snaggletooth
A scar over my eye that would look better with an eye patch over it
A broke ass broke leg, so I limp all over like a peg leg.

Arrrh!

Dumb Ass

That is the word we are using to describe ME!

There is a reason doctors tell you to take it easy and lay down to recover. I decided to go to work yesterday, but only made it four hours before I had Gabe come and get me. Then later that night I tried to go down the stairs like a normal person instead of one stair at a time. Well, big mistake. I had a horrible pain that felt like a burning tear. It dropped me to the ground-it hurt so bad. I iced it all night and elevated it while I slept and woke up not able to move it. My swelling was much worse than the night before, so I was freaked. I had to go back to the doctors and they examined it and did a few x-rays. The operation portion is totally fine, they said it would take a lot more than that to tear the patella from the screws. But I did tear something on the right side of my knee which is bleeding inside causing all the swelling. So basically I am back down with ice and keeping my leg elevated.

This sucks, I wish I weren't such a dumb ass!!

Follow Up

Today I had my first physical therapist appointment after surgery and things went great. He said that I couldn't be doing better right now and that I am actually doing better than what they had expected at this point. I am officially off bed rest and I do not have to be in the CVM machine anymore. Whoo Hoo!!

I have been pretty hard on myself, but I do have to realize it hasn't quite been a week since I had surgery, and I think I am doing great. They are going to do an x-ray and remove my stitches next Wednesday, so until then I will just continue with the therapy exercises and try to push myself into getting better. I have a really good feeling about all of this, like I am going to be a better person once it is done.

Thanks for all your support, I couldn't do it without any of you.

Knee Surgery

Well, it is over, the knee surgery went very well. I came home from the hospital on Friday, and I have been sittin' my fat ass in bed ever since.

Re-cap of all the events-

Going to sleep- Being put under anesthesia is a very weird feeling. One minute you are awake, the next minute you are in recovery feeling like shit.

Morphine sucks. After the second dose they gave me, I asked them to never give it to me again. It makes you feel uncontrollably tired and nauseous beyond belief. I feel asleep trying to eat a craker while talking to someone.

Slumber Party in the Hospital- Addie and Nikki spent the night with me in the hospital. They were so sweet and helpful, I just love them. The nurses were real cool too, they didn't say anything about them being there, even though everyone on the floor, but me, had to share a room. The girls got to sleep in the hospital bed next to me.

The first meal you can actually eat at the hospital taste fabulous. That's right, an egg salad sandwich at 10:00 at night may have been my best meal ever!

You never sleep in the hospital. I woke up at 2:00 in the morning to pee, and needed a pain pill but didn't want to bother them, so I just laid there hoping I would fall asleep, but didn't! Nikki woke up at 4:00 and stayed up with me. We decorated my TED hose, the cute little white tights they make you wear for a week. We drew all kinds of cute stuff on them like skulls, pirate stuff, flowers, a cute little cow, etc..., etc... I will attach a picture later.

Physical Therapy is so much harder than you think it will be. Sure, when they are teaching you the exercises to do they seem super simple, but fuck me! They are actually very hard! I did far more than they thought I would be able to do the day after surgery, but I was so into proving I could do it all, that I totally forgot about the fact that I would eventually feel it. OMG, did I ever feel it!

Friday was a series of mental breakdowns. I was waiting too long to take my pain meds, as I thought I was too tough too take them as much as they said I should be. I finally realized that taking pain meds was going to be critical in feeling better, as it is impossible to do physical therapy when you hurt so bad to begin with. I told myself I am not weak, and I wasn't going to let it get to me. Pretty much since then I have been doing good.

I have been just laying in bed, watching movies, having visitors and sleeping since Thursday. I am just excited to be able to get out of bed and start moving again. Hopefully I will be a new Heather once it is all done.

Happy Brithday Goonie!!!

Today is the 14th anniversary of Addies Birthdate. Ahhhh, it seems like just yesterday I was a young girl (17) about to pop out a baby I had no idea would change my life so much. From the moment that gorgeous child looked at me, I was hooked. She has given me so much in life, and I don't even think she knows it. When I had her, I was in a pretty bad place. Everything seemed scary and unsure, but she made me realize that there is nothing in the world I will try harder for than her. Now, three kids later, I still feel the same way.

Thank you Adykinz for just being you. I love you and hope you have a great Birthday. Don't worry about cheerleading tryouts, you are awesome no matter the outcome!!

Birthday Party Weekend Roundup

Noah and Adison have their Birthdays 3 days apart, so it is always so crazy for us. This weekends events have made me thankful for two very important things.

1- My children who I adore immensely

2- Gabe's vasectomy

On Friday night we had Noah's which consisted of a sleepover with 5 other children, 3 boys and 2 girls. I obviously didn't think of the intermixing of gender to be such a big deal when I passed out the invites......stupid me!! The girls pretty much just wanted to chase the boys all night, and they just ran away from them trying to play other things. Our house echos really bad, mostly I think because of the lack of decor on the walls to absorb some of the sound. We have always noticed it, but when you add a little girl that screams when she talks, all you can think is, "Good Lord, what the HELL was I thinking!!" I was worried about my house be ruined, but I just kind of shrugged it off with the attitude that they are kids and this is what they do. I only had one activity planned, and that was for them to make their own lasagna for dinner. That was a lot of fun. Noah has this friend named Luca that just moved here from another country. I always hear about how smart he is, that he can speak and write Chinese, write cursive, etc..., etc... Well, he is very polite, so imagine my amazement when finding out he swears like a sailor. We heard words out of that boys mouth like, badass, bitch, and something about an asshole. They were never directed at anyone in particular, more like words that just flow out of your mouth in general conversation. The next morning we woke up and went to see 'Meet the Robinson's' then that was pretty much the end of Noah's party. I am leaving out some major details, but must withhold, as I have no idea who if certain individuals read this blog, and I would hate to offend.

Saturday night we had Addie's sleepover, which I had made plans for us to make a slambook and a project I found to 'Make your own Bathsalts' Neither project happened, they just went off on their own and did their thing. That is cool though, I am glad she had fun. During cake time, a lot of her friends were fascinated with the lighter. What??? Silly Mormons. We heard various funny questions coming from their mouths, none that I can remember though. They woke up around 11 o'clock, ate their cereal and went home. I honestly thought that it was going to be much worse with the 14 year olds, but the 8 year olds turned out to be the monsters.

Today we had the family over for dinner and cake. We had Meatloaf, Mashed Potatoes, Peas and Salad. It was super yummy. I thought Noah was super cute when he was opening his presents. We would run and jump on people laps to thank them. Addie didn't seem too excited about anything, but the poor girl has soooo much on her mind. She has cheer leading tryouts tomorrow, and it is all she can think about. I have to say though, it was so neat, at least for me, to be able to have the entire family over at 'our house'. It is a first for us, as our last house would not be able to handle it with everyone here.

But, it is all over with now and I survived. I will forget about it next year when I plan a party and will be reminded once I have repeated the same mistakes.

Happy Birthday Noah

Today Noah turned 8 years old. I can not believe he is already 8. There is something so unique about Noah. Besides the fact he has a special heart, he is the most creative person I have ever met. He is a down right turd sometimes, mainly to Addie, but he is also so tenderhearted and sweet.

I secretly hope he becomes a great tattoo artist, then I can fill my body with his work and walk around telling everyone, "Hey, look what my kid did!" I know, my aspirations for my children are a little troubling at times.

The Future Jack Sparrow

That's my little Pirate!! Intead of Rum, he prefers Ice Cream and Cake.

That makes him more like his Daddy!!

When I say Daddy, I mean Daddy Gabe, not Johnny Depp.

The DNA tests are still out, I will let you know as soon as we hear back.

New Hair....

Don't you just love my new hair?? I think it looks like Neapolitan Ice cream, (brown, pink and blonde) I seriously want to lick my own damn skull!! I think next time I am going to add blue streaks as well. I really look pissed though don't I. If you didn't know me better, you might guess I was a raging bitch.......oh....hmmmm.....well...whatever!

Awwwwe...I Wuv Him!

That's all, I just wanted you to know.

Ahhhh...Memories...

I was taking a stroll down memory lane, and started thinking about the things that reminded me of being a teenager, and I came up with the following list of tags that would describe it-

Black Leather Jackets

KJQ
Black Nailpoilsh

Mosh Pits
Black Lipstick

Scamming
Disintegration

Slam Books
Pretty Hate Machine

Eternity Perfume
Nevermind

Dr. Marten's
Body Piercings

Sleeping out for Concert Tickets (The Cure-Front Row!!!!)
Dance Clubs

120 Minutes
Clove Cigarettes

Red Henna
Making Movies

Striped Tights

Starburst Wrappers

This list could go on and on, but that is a good start. And for those of you who think that sounds odd, back off, it was some of the best times of my life.

One month ago today....

It has already been one month since my fainting accident, and I am well on my way to putting it all past me. After a roller coaster ride consisting of numerous tests, waiting and doctors appointments, I have pretty much been given a clean bill of health. I could not ask for a better outcome.

Here are some beautiful pictures of the 'OUCHY!!'

This one was taken the morning after. There is a lot of swelling, in fact,

I could not open my eye at all. The bruising hadn't really started yet though.

This one was taken a long time later, after the swelling had gone down and the bruising was starting to go away.

I still have a few issues from the fall, like I have a hard lump in my cheek that doesn't seem to be going away, I don't have feeling in part of my face, and of course, the scar. But overall, I must admit, I looks really great compared to the first time I saw it at the plastic surgeons office.

So no more calling me 'scare face' or 'scar-y', okay??

Food Find

Well, you can always count on a fat girl to scope out some good eats, so here it is-

Disney Birthday Bash Ice Cream

It has the following-

Cake Batter Ice Cream
Sprinkles
Frosting

Hello? Did someone say fabulous?

Buy it, try it, thank me later.

Snow Patrol is soooooooo Awesome!!

Last night, Gabe Kim and I went to the Snow Patrol concert. It was a Christmas gift I got from Gabe. I have been looking forward to this night for a looooong time. Well, anyone who has heard Snow Patrols' albums know that they are so unbelievably awesome. Let me tell you, they are ten times better live, which I think all bands should be, but aren't. Nothing is more disappointing than buying tickets to a concert to see a band live, only to discover that they don't live up to all the editing and mixing and sound adjustments made on their CD's. Well, I can not stress how completely unbelievable Snow Patrol was. Their light show, their interaction with the audience, obviously their music and lyrics , their energy that completely fit the mood of every song, every moment of it was just unreal.

Well, with all that said........I can not stand some people at concerts!! Who doesn't want to spend money to go out and have a great time?? But have you ever been to a concert where people around you just put a damper in it?? Snow Patrol have some songs where there is a build up in their song....then it stops....silence....then it starts again. It is a very powerful moment in the songs, but for some reason, the dumb snatch next to us chose those very moments to scream, giggle, yell about the beverage in her hand, whistle and just annoy the shit out of us. The guys she was with were ridiculous as well. She was the kind of girl I associate with bar trash. She has been there since she was young, and will be there well into her 50's. I swear she was about 5 seconds away from pulling up her top and showing her tits to everyone. I know this may be normal practice at some concerts, but seriously, I am convinced she had no idea who Snow Patrol even was. I was about 5 seconds away from giving her a nice punch in the ol' baby maker, a nice kung fu move right to the cooter. We decided it would be in our best interest to leave the bar and go back downstairs, where the young kids are, where we could actually ENJOY the show! It is pretty sad when you leave the adults to play with the kids, but let me tell you, it was way more rad, and they all seemed to get it.

With all that said, it was such an awesome night, and I hope to God they come back soon!!!!

30th Birthday Shout Out....

Katie, oh how I wish I could be there celebrating your 30th Birthday with you. I swear it was just yesterday we were eating cream cheese stuffed french toast served to us by a very attractive waitress, sitting by a roaring fire and just enjoying each others' coziness. You have forever made your mark on my heart pretty one.

I was browsing on Hot Topics website, which, where else would I go to think of you? Well, I am afraid to inform you that the dead girl (not Mickey) shirt is gone. I have found a few other options though, just say the word and they are yours!

First we have a t-shirt, not at all resembling the 'classic' one which I own and you envy, but it does have a dead girl on it, so the theme still applies here.




Next, we have my favorite, and I am sure it is yours as well. Everyone who knows you, knows that you love purses. Well, my God, if I haven't found the perfect bag for you!! You have two adorable puppies, and what better way to remind yourself of them than this bag?

Like I said, just say the word and they are on the way to you. I seriously hope you have a great time, whatever you do, and just remember, I am there with you in spirit. Can't you feel me next to you by the angry lake? I am there.......with you......