Will I ever be the same?

I am having more 'house building' issues.

Yesterday was a really bad day! It started off by receiving our loan documents, only to realize that our totals did not match. There totals were about $5,000.00 more than what mine show. I tried to go through and compare our documentation to find any differences. I realized that they had put some change orders in there that I was not even aware of and that were signed by someone else, NOT ME!! Isn't that forgery?? They not only added things to my loan which I had not approved, but they went back on there original flooring allowance from $1.20 sq. ft. to $1.00 sq. ft. That screwed us out of over a thousand dollars just by doing that. They said that they didn't make any money off our flooring, so they were going to charge us more. They aren't suppose to make money on our flooring, we did the fucking flooring ourselves!! They added garage door openers to our house charging us $900.00 for them! ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?? I could buy all of our neighbors garage door openers for that much. I never asked for them, he told me they were included in the base price of the house. Then my building rep., Luke said, "If you want to be difficult, I can go back and charge you for other things if you want!" FUCK YOU!! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT??

I had horrible chest pains yesterday, and I just lost it. Thank God Jenny was standing by with some clonapin for me. After two of those I was able to calm down and just cry instead of lose my mind.

I really wonder if I will ever be able to be the same person after all this. My kids are so out of there element, I wonder how long it will take to get them back to their normal lives. I do not feel anywhere near close to a real person anymore. It has drained me and broken my spirit. Luckily it has not effected my marriage. I have heard of so many people who's marriage falls apart after building a house together. That would just kill me!

I am sure everything will end up being okay. I just need to put it out of my mind, somehow.