So what!!

I hate it when people from Utah are on a Reality TV show! The local TV stations just eat it up and somehow their progress on any show takes priority over real issues like war, local tragedies or bastard politicians trying to fuck up our country.

I believe it all started with the Mormon chick from Real World New Orleans. I do not even remember her name, but I remember what horror it was that she shared a room with other male roommates. Oh, the immorality that must have gone on! She really disgraced her church and was kicked out of BYU. Hey honey, they did you a favor. They can not handle it when you young kids experience any kind of culture outside their own little quilting circle.

The next one I remember was Carmen Rasmussen. She was on American Idol when Clay Aiken was. I remember watching it just hoping she would be kicked off. Now they always have her at special events like Independence Day or Christmas gatherings. 'We have Utah's Idol here, Miss Carmen Rasmussen'....applause....cheer....worship her....Her wholesomeness makes me want to vomit!

Hmmm, we had Sean the CEO of Love Sac that won some millionaire show. We actually do their payroll, so we have a social tie there, but nonetheless, top news headline, 'Mormon Boy from Utah wins Millions!'

And most recently, we had Heather from the Biggest Loser. She was a real bitch. She is also one of our clients, but seriously, WHAT A BITCH!! Now I can say this, being a big girl and all, but every time they showed her get on the scale, I would laugh at her belly button and make a comment about how it made me want to go golfing. Actually, I stole that from Gabe, but it made me laugh every time!! But my favorite part of the whole thing was at the show finale, she shows up PREGNANT!! How typical, Mormon's like to replenish the species, ya' know? You did your church leaders proud Heather by showing the world just how fertile you are, God is really giving you extra points for that one! I personally think it was a cop-out. She knew she wasn't going to win, she really didn't show too much interest in the whole thing at the end.

I guess the new 'shock value' of reality TV is not to be promiscuous or gay, but to be a Mormon. Well, we have plenty of them here for you, so take them....PLEASE!!

If I lay here....

If I just lay here,
Will you lie with me
And just forget the world?

Does anything in the world sound better than that??

Will I ever be the same?

I am having more 'house building' issues.

Yesterday was a really bad day! It started off by receiving our loan documents, only to realize that our totals did not match. There totals were about $5,000.00 more than what mine show. I tried to go through and compare our documentation to find any differences. I realized that they had put some change orders in there that I was not even aware of and that were signed by someone else, NOT ME!! Isn't that forgery?? They not only added things to my loan which I had not approved, but they went back on there original flooring allowance from $1.20 sq. ft. to $1.00 sq. ft. That screwed us out of over a thousand dollars just by doing that. They said that they didn't make any money off our flooring, so they were going to charge us more. They aren't suppose to make money on our flooring, we did the fucking flooring ourselves!! They added garage door openers to our house charging us $900.00 for them! ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?? I could buy all of our neighbors garage door openers for that much. I never asked for them, he told me they were included in the base price of the house. Then my building rep., Luke said, "If you want to be difficult, I can go back and charge you for other things if you want!" FUCK YOU!! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT??

I had horrible chest pains yesterday, and I just lost it. Thank God Jenny was standing by with some clonapin for me. After two of those I was able to calm down and just cry instead of lose my mind.

I really wonder if I will ever be able to be the same person after all this. My kids are so out of there element, I wonder how long it will take to get them back to their normal lives. I do not feel anywhere near close to a real person anymore. It has drained me and broken my spirit. Luckily it has not effected my marriage. I have heard of so many people who's marriage falls apart after building a house together. That would just kill me!

I am sure everything will end up being okay. I just need to put it out of my mind, somehow.

Gingerbread Houses

Today we made gingerbread Houses. We had a blast! Here are the results of our hard work. note: Adison ate most of hers while she was making it.





Here is the one Zane and I made. As you can tell, the kid is a prodigy!





Next is Noah's. He made some awesome Gingerbread dudes. One is blind with a cane, and another has a guitar. ROCK ON!!





Hmmm, where do I begin? Addie and Gabe made quite the masterpiece. I think it greatly resembles the artist Pollock, what do you think?





Here is my Mom's and Aunt Corrie's. They had a few problems, to say the least. To be honost, I'm not really suprised. It was kinda like watching Dumb and Dumber.


I have a tummy ache from eating all the dang gingerbread. As Addie would say, "Oh Mylanta!!"

Not yet, maybe later.....

Sorry to have informed everyone of my upcoming surgery. I have canceled it and maybe reschedule at a later time. The stress of the house, along with Christmas, and various other reasons were making it too hard for me.

Thank you for all your well wishes, it really means a lot to me. Keep them tucked nicely in your pocket until I inform you of a new date within the next few months.

You guys rock, I love you all!!

Question

So......I have just come home from my work party, and I am a little tipsy to say the least. Any-who I was thinking just now, while going pee,...... if Britney Spears can have knee surgery, and be able to party like a Rock Star, and show off her terrible cooch to the world, I will be just fine right? My disabilty is just fine. it is temporary, and I will be okay, right, RIGHT?????

Pardon me while I have some more Merlot. I am drunk, I just attended a work party, and I would like some more Merlot.

You have no idea how many times I have had to re-tyoe this. I better send myself to bed.

DEANG!!

Update

Surgery will now be on Thursday, December 7th.

I will be on complete bedrest for 7 days with my leg in a CVV machine. Then after that it will be months of extensive therapy.

I wish I had my new house done so I could at least be laying in there with nothing to do. Instead, I will not be able to even go and see the house for awhile. I don't know, maybe that is a good thing!

NOT what I was hoping for....

I will just come out and say it. I am having surgery on my knee. It will be done the day after Christmas. Merry Fucking Christmas. Do you know this means? I can not drink on Christmas Day Who the fuck stays sober on Christmas, I mean seriously!!

All kidding aside, I am scared. Not of the pain, not of the recovery, I really don't know why, I just am. Noah had been through major surgeries, so I won't even compare, because you can't. I guess there is always the thought that something will go wrong, I don't know. I am sure everything will be okay, but now I am going to stress about medical bills. I really don't feel like I need anymore stress, but hey, I guess I have no choice!

I was honestly thinking that I would go to the doctor and he would give me some exercises to do, or give me a prescription for some cream to put on it or something. Thank God my Uncle Mike went with me. Yes, co-dependent Heather had an escort to the doctors today....bite me! I am just glad he was there, I felt calmer just having him with me. Gabe said he feels like a horses ass now because he didn't go. Neither one of us anticipated this outcome though, so I know he would have been there if he thought they were going to tell me I was having surgery. I guess my knee cap isn't in the right place, so they have to move something and put some screws in my bones, I don't know, I just kind of cringed when he was explaining all of it. The good news is that my knee cap will no longer pop out of place, causing me intense pain when putting it back. That alone will make it all worth it.

I am sad about my long, slender legs having scars on them though. I mean really, when I am walking down the runway in a fashion show, I hope people will not pay attention to my gross disformaty. Hopefully they will concentrate on my unusually large hobbit feet instead. I kid of course, I am not runway material.

Gabe did tell me he would have a Beto's burrito waiting for me post-op, as well as Raj's Chicken after I am in my hospital room. Now that ladies in gentlemen is what I like to call....LOVE!!

Pamela Anderson files for Divorce?!?!

What hope does any wedded couple who looks up to superstar celebrities have if even Pamela Anderson and Kid Rock can only make it 4 months??

Well, I will just have to keep my fingers crossed for Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes. I hope he never comes out of the closet, that may put a stop to their wedded bliss.

What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas...

These commercials bug the shit out of me!! I will admit, when they first appeared, I thought it was a very clever ad campaign, focusing on the people who wanted to be naughty when they go out of town, and feel it is okay because it is what everyone does, right??

Like there really are couples that go to Las Vegas and do something soooo shameful, that they can not even tell people what they did. I bet they got a couple of prostitutes and had a foursome, didn't they?? Or maybe they got matching tattoos in discreet areas that only one another know about. Give me a break. Oh, and the one with the girl who doesn't know what to say, so she tells her husband about all the money she spent. Instead she should be confessing to some random lesbian experience, or that she got so drunk and ended up sleeping with the bouncer from the bar. DUH!! Hey, and the husband that goes away with a bunch of friends. What were you expecting them to do?? Go to some Star Trek Convention at the MGM, then eat themselves silly at a buffet?? No you dumb bitch, he went to countless stripclubs, gambled away tons of hard earned cash and remained in a drunken stupor the whole time. And rightfully so if you ask me. I just don't see what the big deal is.

Las Vegas is fun and exciting, but I really don't see anyone having to keep such big secrets on what goes on there.

When I go to Vegas with either Gabe or friends, I will do whatever the hell I feel like. And I will undoubtedly tell everyone what happened. Not for the shock value, but because I keep secrets from no one!!

Giving Thanks

Thanksgiving is quickly becoming my second favorite holiday, first is Halloween. I love when our family gets together to have a nice dinner without the stress of giving gifts or money. I really do love Christmas, it is such a magical happy time. It just seems like it takes months to recover from it financially.

I am thankful for so many things in my life. I am such a lucky person, and have so much love surrounding me, I thought I might share some of it. I know, mushy, mushy. Oh well!!

I have an amazing husband. I feel so much love and encouragement from him, that I can not possibly imagine life without him. I want to send him a special 'thank you' for unlocking my car after I locked my keys in it yesterday. I know it annoyed you, sorry, but I am who I am! I have three wonderful children. Addie is growing up so quick and she is such a fun, loving person. Noah is such a special kid who is an amazing artist and I know world can expect great things from him. Zane is my little monkey and such a joy to have.

My family is great. I don't have a huge family, but we are all very close. My Dad is so patient, he has had the five of us living with him for almost a year, and is still hanging in there. My Mom is such a loving person, she just loves to give and give. My Uncles, Mike, Marve, Aunts Debbie and Corrie. Granny, Gabe's Mom, Gabe's Dad, my cousins Paul, Obie, Nikki and Steph. They are all such great people, and I just love them. My family in Minnesota- Katie, Sean, Charli, Aunt Helen, Pam, Chuck, Rick, all such awesome people and I miss them so much. Katie is one of my best friends and thoughts of her keep me warm by the angry lake.

My friends who know the 'real' me. I can just hang out with them and they deal with my wackiness and charm! I love them all for so many different reasons.

WOW, talk about a long post! Sorry, I will try to quickly get back to my cynical ways as soon as possible!!

I can't wait to review the Thanksgiving Feast tomorrow. I wonder if there will be any surprise foods that will make me scrunch my nose.

It's all about Melissa....

Sorry, I owe Melissa an apology for not including her in my blog. She was upset that she has not yet been mentioned, so I told her I would dedicate a whole post to her.

I was not too drunk on Saturday to remember our conversation. Actually, I was very drunk, but I still remembered!

Melissa and I met in Junior High School. We were T.A.'s for a History teacher. She was different, not that I wasn't with all my black clothing). She was someone I would have never talked to unless I was put in a position like being forced to correct test papers with her. But she turned out to be one of my best friends, that is of course, until the break. Yes, I am stealing a line from Friends. We were on a break for about 10 years or so, but then we reconnected, and here we are.

Some highlights of our friendship include- (I'm not going to go on too long here...)

Her having sex with Brett in my Mothers bathroom when we were younger. This made me mad, as I felt like her cheap Hotel.

She use to bring me my favorite Fruit Loop Sandwiches (yes, you read that correctly)for lunch.

I cut her super long hair when we were younger without her Mom's approval. It looked much better though.

When we go out of town to see Gabe run Marathons, she is my side kick. She has been to everyone one of them. She is the keeper of the map and tells me every turn, (right or wrong) to make, we cheer sexy Gabe on as he runs by us, she even dressed up like a pirate with me in Denver. After Gabe is done with the marathon, we enjoy getting big bags of ice and pouring them on his balls while he is taking an ice bath. We don't really spend a lot of time together lately, but when we go out of town, we really get to reconnect and have a blast.

I introduced her to her last husband and her current boyfriend. I sure hope this one works out better than the last one!!

I am sorry Melissa. I am sorry to have neglected to mention you in my blog, and I hope you can forgive me. Please tell me we are no longer in a fight, because life is too short to be upset at me for forgetting something. You shouldn't be so shocked though. I forget many, many things, all the time. I mean, seriously!!

Maybe one day when you are cool enough to have a blog, you will mention me.

Ooops....I did it AGAIN!!

Hmmmm....

I have never claimed to be the smartest person in the world (no laughing), but sometimes I even surprise myself.

I went to the gas station on break today to get a Rock Star, and it was a typical Maverick trip. You know, making fun of the people who work there, even though they buy me Doritos and stuff. Anyway, there was this lady who came in while we were in line and she was telling the cashier that the pump was not working, and handed the cashier her credit card. Well, the cashier informs the lady that it is working, in fact, it was pumping gas into her car at that very moment. Hee, hee, snicker, snicker. The little old lady didn't believe her, and the gas station attendant became a little annoyed with her. "Yes, it is pumping, isn't that your silver car out there?" "Well, gas is going in it right now" "Oh", the little old lady says and runs out there. The cashier looks down and says, "Oh great, she left her credit card here!" She mutters a few swears under her breath, then acted all annoyed. Well, as I was leaving, I saw the cute old lady come back in and I told her that she left her credit card inside. "Huh, oh, I don't think so." YES YOU DID OLD LADY!!

So Jen and I left and laughed at the senile old bag on the way back to work. Ha, ha, ha, what a nut. That lady didn't even realize she left her credit card there.

I get back into the office, I am standing in the lobby, just about to open my Rock Star, when I look at Jen. "Where is my wallet?" ARE YOU KIDDING ME!! I looked all over her car- not there! We drove back to the Maverick, where guess what?? Yup, I left my whole wallet sitting on the counter there. Hey, at least I realized it before some scummy tranny came and took it, right? Right? Okay, I am dumb, I admit it! Sorry Gabe, I am sure I have disappointed you again.

Karma sure acted quickly on that one, DANG!!

And the Bathroom will stay Purple....for now...

Ummmm, someone hit me over the head! I had a brilliant vision, do you hear me, a brilliant vision of a purple bathroom. It was to be my sanctuary where I could take a bath surrounded by lavender loveliness.

Well, Fuck me! I got done painting last night and I said to myself, "Dang pretty, I really like my purple bathroom" Well, this morning I saw it and HOLY SHIT!! What was I thinking?? It does not resemble the beautiful paint sample what so ever!! Why, why, why, why do you lie to me paint sample?? When I want the perfect shade of purple, why do you tease me by going on my wall as a sick shade of purple only a little preschooler would wear on picture day? NOT PRETTY!!

The votes are in-

Gabe- Keep It (but he's color blind!!)
Dad- Keep It
Corrie- Keep It
Mom- Maybe it looks better in the light. If not, change it.
Kimberli- Keep It
Me- I guess I will keep it and pray it looks better once the rest of the bathroom is done.

I want to cry.....

Happy Birthday to.......ME!!!!!

Today is my Birthday.

It is funny how as you get older you don't get that excited feeling the whole day like you did as a kid. Well, at least I don't. I had a pretty eventful day though. It started out by going to Weight Watchers for my weekly weigh in. I lost 1.8 pounds, which was a miracle considering the bottle of Merlot I polished off last night with some Garlic Cheese Sticks. DANG!! Next, it was off to the house to start painting. It took 3 of us about 5 1/2 hours to paint 2 bathrooms, but they look great. The kids bathroom is this amazing shade of blue that is unbelievably calming. The master bathroom is purple. Purple you say? That's right, I said purple......purple, purple, PURPLE!! It is a little bit brighter than what I was originally going for, but I think it looks great. Thank God Gabe is color blind! He does not care if I paint our room and bathroom purple. Not all guys would be down for that!!

After that I went on a quick shopping trip where I got me a new head band with skulls on it. Very feminine, very pretty. Then we met the family at Buca di Beppo where we celebrated mine and Nikki's Birthdays together. I tried Calamari and breaded baby octopus for the first time. Not bad, fry anything and chances are I will at least try it. Zane liked it, but he doesn't know what it is, he has no prejudgement of what it will taste like. Gabe had to leave for work during dinner, which made me sad. I knew he would need to leave for work, but I didn't want him to go. Oh well, I know he would much rather be with me than at work, but dem de breaks! After dinner we went to Coldstone and I am pretty sure I gained back the 1.8 pounds I lost this morning.

Favorite Quotes Today:

It's my Birthday, wanna spank me?
Can I have some more Merlot? It's my Birthday and I would like some more Merlot...
Have you found your keys?
Be nice to my knee, it is my knees Birthday too!

That's all for me......
Peace I'm outta here!!

Family Pictures (Take 2)

It must have ran out of space before the boys were added.

Family Pictures

I do not want to hear one remark about my bangs, do you understand!!

Enjoy!!

Go Vote, and a Birthday Wish

I voted this morning. They have the new electronic voting machines, so I thought I better hurry and get there early because it was going to be a mess. I couldn't have been more wrong. I was in and out with no problems what so ever!! I did accident vote for someone I didn't want to, but I hurried and read the instructions on how to back it out, so it was easily corrected. So, follow my lead and go vote if you haven't already!!

Last, but not least.....HAPPY BIRTHDAY NIKKI!! You are truly one of my favorite people in this world, and you have been more of an inspiration in my life than you will know. You are a great person who deserves great things in life! My birthday wish for you is that the democrats will regain control of the house so our government will stop this downward spiral it is in. I hope it will come true, really I do!! I love you, and I can't wait for our girls night. It will most assuredly be a rad ass time!!

'Ass'lice in Wonderland

Ahhhh, they grow up so quickly, don't they??

Here's Cydney, being the all too familiar scantly clad slutty girl for Halloween. It really isn't her fault, she wanted to go as a charming story book character, but somehow her dress was just screaming, "Come look at my hot ass!!"

Hey, if I had a hot bod, Halloween would be everyday. I would be the girl who dresses horrish, showing off my amazing cleavage and my tight butt, purposely dropping things on the floor just to earn a free drink.

A girl can only dream, can't she??

Worst day.....EVER!!

I am having a shitty day.

I have lost my make-up bag. The one containing over $300.00 worth of MAC make-up. GONE! I have searched high and low. I have no idea where it is. My guess is it fell out of Gabe's truck and I didn't notice. Someone came by, picked it up and totally scored with my loss.

I got a new haircut. It cost $120.00. I do not like to spend money on myself for anything other than shoes, so this freaked me out!!

I am suppose to get family pictures tomorrow. Hmmm, no make-up and a new hair cut are not going to make for the best pictures. I made this appointment weeks ago with the idea in my head that I was going to look sooooo much better than I do. Well, I am still a 'blob of gross'.

Bad day, BAAAAAD, BAAAAAD DAY!!

There are many other things going on like stress at work and a two year old with a fever, but hey, so is life.

Buck up little camper, we will climb this mountain together!!

Favorite Joke

This weekend I took Addie and some friends to a Haunted House. While in the truck they were telling some jokes. Well, her friend Alec told the funniest joke I have ever heard....Here it goes....

There were two muffins side by side in an oven.

One muffin looks at the other muffin and says,
"It sure is getting hot in here"

The other muffin looks at the other muffin and says,
"AHHHHHHH,..... TALKING MUFFIN!!"

It is seriously the funniest joke I have ever heard. If you don't think so, get help immediately!!

Dora, Dora, DORA!!

She has stolen my little boys heart. Her sweet little accent and big brown eyes have put him in a trance I can not break. Nothing in the world is better than this spanish beauty in his eyes.

I hate her and her little monkey too!

The Biggest Loser

Okay, so I'm late, I had The Biggest Loser on my DVR and I just watched it. Hello!! How much does Amy rock?? She looks absolutley amazing, I am jealous beyond belief!!

I really think about what food I would put in my case like they do, you know, your trigger foods. Well, I think I have it fugured out.

Raj's Chicken from Bombay House (make it HOT)
Garlic Naan
Nachos
Beer
Wine (can I have some more Merlot?)
Sugar Cookies
Cupcakes
Cheesecake
Bacon Cheeseburger from Crown Burger
French Fries with Fry Sauce
Bacon, Egg and Cheese Breakfast Burrito from Betos

Ummmm, I am sure there is plenty more to put up there, but for now, that will do!!
Why am I fat, huh, I have NO IDEA!!

Fuck you J.B., FUCK YOU!!

J.B. is the initials we will call my home builder.

You guys are:

Assholes
Liars
Pieces of Shit

See also:

Fuck Faces
Clueless
Ignorant

You have caused me:

Headaches
Ulcers
Panic Attacks
Crying Fits
Weight Gain
Hair Loss
Depression

I want our fucking house done YESTERDAY!!

What the Hell Man??

I feel like shit today, do you hear me? S-H-I-T!! I don't know if it is the 2 hours of sleep, the finger I should get stitches in but refuse to, the 40 oz. of Rockstar beverage I have consumed or the salad I just ate. What the *F* man!!

On a lighter note, my darling perfect husband will be running yet another marathon this weekend, so do you know what that means?? That's right, I get to be the cheerleader. Rah, rah, rah!! Yah, I suck, so what, shut the hell up!

So this time we are going to Denver. I have been to Denver only once before, and that was to see The Cure. (I bet you would have never guessed, right??) The only things I really remember about the city was it reminded me a lot of Salt lake, only bigger and I got my first speeding ticket there. I even have a picture of me with the bastard cop who pulled me over. Oh, and the other thing I remember is the horrible plane ride on the way back home. My dear friend Kim was a real trooper to put up with me for that one. And the poor guy next to me, oh man. My nails were embedded in his thighs, and not in a sexual or arousing way. It was a pure, "Oh fuck, we are going to die" kind of way. He didn't seem to mind though. Why would he, I was a chick who was giving his upper thigh area some much needed attention. Right on, score for him right?? Oh, I almost forgot the worst part. When the plane finally landed in Salt Lake everyone sitting around me got up and started clapping saying, "We made it!!" To them I say blow me, I thought for sure we were going down and I was panicking!!

This time will no doubt be a super rad time. For starters, we will be there longer, Friday until Monday. Second, if I get scared on the plane I can dig my nails into my husbands thighs, and that is just plain ass HOT!! I am going to dress up like a pirate to cheer him on. Well, it is more like I will be wearing a pirate hat with a see through black shirt showing off my amazing new cleavage I have thanks to my new bra!! It is all an optical illusion my friends-just an illusion. (but a mighty impressive one at that!!)

Did I mention I have had 40 oz. of Rock Star today??

Ciao!!

Weigh In Day

Yesterday was my W.W. weigh in. I am down 2 pounds. Ahhh, it is hard not to get frustrated with it, but hey, 2 pounds down is better than 2 pounds up!!

Pounds Lost: -2
Total Loss: -7.2

New Favorite Song

Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol

Dang, I need to hurry and lose 50 pounds so I get me an iPod!! I could always use Gabe's or Addie's, but I want my OWN!!! Daaaaaaang!!

Weigh In Day

Today was my weigh in day at Weight Watchers. I lost -0.4 pounds. Well, normally this would make me cry, but I did go to Minnesota and not eat very well. I decided I didn't really have to diet while I was there. Always a big mistake for me. Oh well, all I can do is stay focused on my goals. I have set a few short term goals for myself.

Loss of 20 pounds- New Outfit
Loss of 50 pounds- New iPod
Goal- Belly dancing Lessons

That's all I have so far. I think that when I hit goal I should get to go to Europe and forget about the belly dancing lessons! HA!

I want to lose a total of 80 pounds, so I have a ways to go. However, if I don't stay focused, it is going to take me a lot longer than it has to.

Blue October

I just bought the Blue October C.D.
It is dang awesome, go get one!

What do ya think?

I want this to be my new tattoo. The purse itself is like $545.00, so I figured, why not tattoo that rad ass design right on my arm!

It's dope, you know it!

That's so Heather!

My kids watch a show on the Disney channel called "That's so Raven!" Well, in the show Raven has visions of what is going to happen. She usually always gets them screwed up, either what actually happens, or trying to fix it.

Well, I had a vision. I had a vision that I would take Zane to Minnesota and he would be thrilled with the thought of going on an airplane that he would just sit there and be good. Well, I forgot he is actually a two year old, so of course my 'vision' was not quite right. To his credit, I had many passengers comment on what a well behaved child he is and that he did awesome. But anytime he acted excited about something, or wanted to get out of seat, I jumped into action and pulled another trick out of my bag. It ranged from coloring books and stories to a DVD player loaded with a DORA the Explorer movie. Needless to say I was on top of it about every fifteen minutes! Well, I also thought I would get there and he would be the same well behaved child he always is. Well, again, wrong vision! The first day was horrible, I have never seen him act so badly. He was having quite a few 'freak outs' and he even scratched my face in a fit of anger. All I could think to myself was "What did you get yourself into?" This did not last too long, but it was rather difficult to do on my own, especially when I am not use to him acting that way. Overall he did great. He really is an awesome kid who I am not giving enough credit to, but he did have some moments that just sent me into panic mode, especially when you are trying to experience a special time in your cousins life like her first baby.

Let's just say I need to put a little reality into my visions next time. And I am exhausted, I don't know what I would do if he were a bad little monkey all the time!

But all that aside, I have been home from Minnesota for 1 1/2 hours, and I already miss it. It honestly feels like home to me, more like home than Utah feels to me at times. I never have a hard time coming home from vacation, but for some reason I always get a little depressed coming home from there. I can't wait to move there one day, I honestly feel it will happen because it feels like it would be the right thing to do for my family.

Ahhhh, I need to buy a god damn lottery ticket so I can make it happen, fo' sho'!

Ode to Gabe

I don't know what I ever did in life to deserve Gabriel. To be able to spend my life with him is such an amazing honor, I can only hope he will not realize what he got himself into and run for the hills.

I was never able to trust anyone before I met Gabe. I was never able let myself fully receive love from anyone. Even once we met, it took years for me to come around and accept all the wonderful things he was trying so hard to give me. I want to thank him for his patience and his willingness to stick it out, even when things may not have always been perfect.

I am not an easy person to love. "I don't believe it" you say? Well, let me just give you a few examples of the crap I put my darling 'better half' through on a daily basis-

First off we will start with my lack for forethought in anything. Example: I almost always forget to get a towel when I go to take a shower. Once I am in there he usually always opens the door and says, "Here is your towel, I figured you forgot" He could very well teach me a lesson and not bring me the towel I haven't even had to ask for yet, but he chooses to be an awesome person and take care of me.

There is the constant forgetfulness which can range from losing keys and cell phones to various other items of importance like losing debit cards and not remembering to feed the dog. Ahhhhh, Gabe is a lucky man you say? I haven't even gotten started.

Ordering food at pretty much any eating establishment will definitely earn me at least one eye roll. The pickiness of having things a certain way would have sent most guys running a long time ago.

Never having my cell phone charged and almost always having the gas light on in my car when he jumps in it to run an errand, all things that, as my family puts it 'Makes Gabe a Saint!' Very annoying, I admit, but very typical of me!

The punches I give him when I say something stupid, because somehow I have to punish him for it. Watching a football game when our teams are playing each other is horrible. He stays the better man by being solemn while I choose to taunt and trash his team.

While I give him all this grief and dismay, he gives me the simple sweet pleasures in life that make me feel lucky to have him.

When I can't sleep, or I am cold, he goes and warms a blankie up in the dryer and lays it over me.

After whining about my headache, he will get me some Excederine because I have not yet done it myself.

He tells me I look pretty when I feel horrible.

He calms me down when I am having a famous 'freak out' about something.

He sets my alarm clock for me because for some reason I refuse to learn how to, although secretly I could figure it out if I cared to.

But most of all, after 14 1/2 years together, he still gives me butterflies in my stomach. You know, the kind you get when you are first in love with someone? I still get them, in fact I am getting them right now just thinking of him.

I am a lucky gal, what can I say? Besides being the amazing man listed above, he is absolutely gorgeous! How did I get so lucky to have the entire package? He is just a well rounded, well hung individual who got trapped by the three ring circus.... You know, Hook (Addie), Line (Noah) and Sinker (Zane).

Happy Anniversary Baby! I am so sad we won't be together to celebrate it, but I promise when I get home we will have a lot of making up to do! :o)

Avast!

Today be 'National Talk Like a Pirate Day'

Smartly, me lass and get to talkin' like one.

Arrr!


Top Ten Pickup lines for use on International Talk Like a Pirate Day

10 . Avast, me proud beauty! Wanna know why my Roger is so Jolly?

9. Have ya ever met a man with a real yardarm?

8. Come on up and see me urchins.

7. Yes, that is a hornpipe in my pocket and I am happy to see you.

6. I'd love to drop anchor in your lagoon.

5. Pardon me, but would ya mind if fired me cannon through your porthole?

4. How'd you like to scrape the barnacles off of me rudder?

3. Ya know, darlin’, I’m 97 percent chum free.

2. Well blow me down?

And the number one pickup line for use on International Talk Like a Pirate Day is …

1. Prepare to be boarded.

The 'weight' is over....

I have done it, I have joined Weight Watchers. The first time I joined I did awesome, I lost 67 pounds. Then I let stress get to me and went back and forth for several years. I tried South Beach, Atkins and others, but I always felt limited. I just plain realized how much I loved Weight Watchers, so here I am. I am starting my second week right now and I am very excited.

I am worried about going on vacation however. Minnesota-here I come!! I will just consider it a challenge to prove to myself that I can even lose weight while on vacation. It may be a first for me!

I have gained a total of 36 pounds from when we began building this stinking house. I need to break the emotional eating cycle.

Week 1: -4.8 lbs
Total Weight loss: -4.8 lbs

EVS

I want a ride on the 'Rand Wagon'

That's all I'm sayin'....

Noah the "AMAZING"

I need to write about Noah.

Ever since we found out he had a serious heart condition when I was 7 months pregnant with him, I feel in a sense I have been walking on eggshells. There are so many heart conditions a child can have at birth, ranging from completely mild that only need monitoring, to extremely severe which have no hope. Well, we had hope, we were among the lucky ones that surgery could help correct Noah's special heart. It has not been an easy road, it has been filled with more bumps and turns than I care to remember, but every single one has brought us to the moment we are at right now.

Right now I can only reflect at how amazing he is. We have always been told by doctors that he is amazing, he has done better than most children do with the same problems. When he had his first open heart surgery at 10 months old, he was home from the hospital in 1 1/2 days. I am not exaggerating, it is a fact. He should have been there closer to 10-14 days, but he did so well that he was home in no time. When he was born, he weighed an amazing 9 lbs 12 oz. The average child with his heart condition weighs around 3 lbs. He got to come home after only 3 days in the NICU after being born because he was doing so well. We were told he would need surgery within the first few days of him being born, but he made it to 6 weeks before he went into heart failure. That was an extremely rocky road, but they told us the bigger he gets, the better his chances are. If they could get him to 12 lbs., it would cut his risks in half. Well, the day before surgery when he was taken by ambulance to Primary Children's Medical Center we weighed in at exactly 12 lbs. I am filled with so many incredible stories about how amazing he is, I could go on all day.

Today we went to the cardiologist for his annual appointment. I seriously get sick to my stomach thinking these appointments. Not that anything seems wrong with him, the 'what if's' just occupy my mind and I can't get rid of them until it is over with. Well, not only is Noah doing good, he is doing better than can be expected, and they could not possibly ask for a better result. I could not help but cry when I heard this. I know he is amazing, everyone who meets him knows he is amazing, his doctors know he is amazing, I just want the whole world to know how amazing he is. I know that as he grows older, he is going to be a strong man with the world at his fingertips. He has already accomplished more to survive than anyone I know, and he is only 7 years old. The world can only expect wonderful things to come from Noah, he is truly a MIRACLE. All parents think of their children as miracles, I have three who are equally wonderful, but to truly do what this child has done is nothing less than a complete miracle.

With that in mind, I have been fighting an inner battle with myself with why I am not involved more with his cause. I donate money to the American Heart Association and to Primary Children's Medical Center, but other than that I don't do anything. I don't go on Heart Walks, I don't get involved in the community of groups related to this cause. I honestly think the reason why is I felt if I had to belong to support groups, or put him out there as the child with a heart problem, then it meant we were fighting for his life. I know we are, but I always thought it meant there was no hope. I am a screwed up person in my thinking, and this only proves that. But no more, I am going to participate more and become involved in a cause that IS close to our hearts. If anything it will give me more of a reason to show off my miracle Noah. Maybe he can give others hope.

Out of the two, which Rock Star do you choose??

DILANA



LUCAS

Fam 'Damn" ly Reunion

Why do you go to a Family Reunion??

Free Meal (actually two)

Bounce House for the kids

Blow up Slide, also for the kids

Horses to feed

Going in circles in the paddle boat around the pond, until the two blondes navigating the ship read the instructions

Outhouses, they were actually clean and worth mentioning

Watching your two year old get totally filthy, but love every minute of it

Catch bugs for a Science project

Sneak away with Aunt Deb for a little dip into her flask while trying to bartend in the back of a Toyota Prius (Aunt Deb Rocks!!)

Watching a whole pig and lamb get smoked and see their charred heads in a foil container afterwards

Discovering rich people are just like us, only they own entire mountains and airplanes

Getting buried in the sand in the volleyball court

Turning a nice new pair of white socks black beyond recognition

But most of all...... (drum roll please....)
You do it to see how happy it actually makes your Mom, Uncle and Aunt :o)

A little confused.. A little disgusted..

Who came up with the idea to make a 'Dog Trainer Barbie' that allows you to feed a dog, then the dog craps, and you clean it up?? What is the message here people?? Responsible pet ownership, or that it okay to play with feces?

I don't get it!

Cardiac Arrest

Have you ever smelled a Heart Attack?

Well, this is it-

A Bacon, Egg, Cheese and Potato Breakfast Burrito from Betos.

I need to add this to my 86 list, but some how the sweet smell of bacon, and the promise of the best 'Drunk Food' you can ever get your hands on keeps me coming back for more!!

Proppa!!

Wood in the Hole!!

Wood in the hole!!

Yeah baby, I have wood in my hole!! (Get your mind out of the gutter, I am referring to my house-you sick bastard!)

But I wanted to be the next polygamist wife!!

Did you hear they arrested Warren Jeffs, the leader of the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ (you know, the Mormons) Okay, the F.L.D.S. is not recognized by the current more popular L.D.S. church. He was on the F.B.I's Ten Most Wanted list and he is just about the dreamiest thing I have ever set eyes on!! Don't deny it ladies, you know how sexy a bad boy is.

But none the less, my dreams have been shattered! I will not be able to be the 41st wife of this church leader, I will not be able to have his children until my uterus can provide life no more, and I sure as hell will not be able to secure my place in heaven since I believe it was my only chance to belong to the 'true' church!

DANG!!


Just in case you need to read the article to know what I am talking about!!

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/14569632/

The kids are back in school...at least two of them!

I have bittersweet feelings about the first day of school. It means I have to accept the fact that I now have an 8th grader (Did you read that? An 8th grader!! How did that happen? Oh yeah, I remember....um....nevermind!) And I also have to drop my little boy off to a big kid classroom. Hell, second grade is serious shit!! No more smiley faces and rainbows decorating the walls. It is all about chapter books, math graphs and dead presidents gracing the room. Definitely more serious! I remember my second grade teacher, I HATED her!! I knew she was a mean ol' witch before I even knew what it was. Just thinking about Mrs. Brimhall makes me feel a little creeped out. Yeah, it really was that bad. You would seriously risk getting a bladder infection before asking her for a hall pass....seriously!

This is also the first year I didn't get to take the kids 'first day of school' pictures on my front porch. It sounds like a silly thing to get all bummed out about, but it's true, I miss the same backdrop they have had since the very first day of this all too important occasion. I only hope the new house will hold up to the standards that has been set by the old place. I have a feeling it will be awesome, but for some reason, just not the same.

Dilana.....Now I think you are a Biatch!!


Yes, Rockstar, one of my guilty pleasures will receive another post! I was really rooting for you Dilana, really I was. Well, I think I have changed my mind. Keeping it professional is one thing, but when you ditch your personal relationships for your own personal gain, you are just plain ass nasty!! I know someone like this, and although I feel like she really cares about me, I think she can be the BIGGEST BITCH and part of me wishes she would just choose a side, and not ride the fence. When she actually does come around and start treating me descent, I just get confused!! Hey, I know you are a bitch, SO AM I, but not to the people I truely care about!!

Oh, I got so drunk this weekend.....

Don't you hate it when you come to work and that is all people are talking about?? This happens to Gabe at work all the time. He said the same losers come in every Monday with their bullshit stories about how thay have no idea how they made it home, or some crazy shit they did, or shit they think they did because they were too drunk too remember. Bullshit!!

I have had plenty of weekends where I would rather not remember, I just wish I could reflect on them as I am in the middle of a drunken stuper so I can think to myself, "Heather, we do not want to go back there again, do we?" "Have some water, take an asprin and wait awhile before you grab that sexy cocktail waitress with the big tits, easy spirit shoes and fake nails" I had a binge drinking weekend, but my only regret is that Gabe was not there to play his usual 'Reasonable Thinker' role and talk me out of going past my 'Happy Point' where I can still have a rad time, but have no remorse in the morning. I have no logic when I drink! No, that's not true, I know the difference between right and wrong, I don't drive when I drink, or do dumb shit like that. But sometimes it helps to have him there being reasonable, even if I do act a little annoyed when he is dispensing his wisdom to me. I love him, he makes me a better person for all the right reasons.

Grrrrrrr........

I love my Mother, I can't even begin to explain what a wonderful, caring person she is, far beyond what I could ever even hope to be in life....... However. Okay, if I can ever give a piece of advice that is worth anything, here it is. 'DO NOT BUILD YOUR HOUSE NEXT TO YOUR MOTHER!!!' Yes, I know, the idea seems charming and fun at first, then it starts to get stressful, especially when her house will be done about three months before yours will be, but stressful doesn't even begin to describe it!! It must be a mother/daughter thing, you know, crashing female personalities, but it is getting to be a little more than I can handle!!

Today our Building Rep. came in to meet with the two of us about the houses. After she went through all her changes, it was my turn. (so I thought!) Everytime we started to go over my 'stuff', she would interupt by either saying, "Oh, I have another question" (wait until I am done Mother), or "What changes are you making? Maybe I want to do it too" (are you kidding me?) It went on and on like this for roughly a half of an hour before her appointment FINALLY arrived and she left. At the end, she has not only changed her appliances to be EXACTLY the same as mine, but has chosen the same stucco as me as well. I just had to call Luke(builing rep.) and change the color of my stucco now, something I am not happy about considering I really like my stucco choice, because I know I will get an angry feeling in my belly everytime I drive up to my house and see that my neighbor has the same colored house as me!! I am petty, I admit it, but COME ON!!!

Gabe mostly laughs it off, but he was begining to get a little annoyed everytime she would comment, "Oh, your house will start soon and pass mine right up" (huh??), or anytime anyone commented on how long it was taking to start our house and she would reply, "It isn't like they haven't done anything to their house." I don't consider painting the Lot# on the cement actually starting my house, but that's just me!!

But like I said earlier, Grrrrrr......

Detox please.......DETOX!!

Oh man, I have really done it now! I have consumed more sugar this weekend than I have had in nearly an entire months time. Yesterday I was in a pissy poor mood, no doubt related to the sweet syrup running through my veins. Gabe is so awesome when this happens. His solution of getting out and taking a walk when I get in these moods seems to be logical enough, even if I do bitch about it the entire time we are gone. As much as I love sugar, it does not love me. I only wish I could remember that before I get out of control. All things in moderation eh'? Like my screwed up mind understands what moderation is. Blah!!!!

Happy Birthday Zaney Baby!!

Today the last of the Griffith clan will be turning two! I can not believe how fast it has gone. Zane is the perfect child. Mild mannered, silly, amazing, beautiful, well, in just word, he is perfect, absolutely PERFECT!!

I love trying to imagine what my children will be when they grow up. Zane, or 'the Monkey' as we refer to him, will be some type of heavy duty stunt double or daredevil. The child has no fear, he will jump off anything, climb everything and is just plain crazy!

I love you baby, you are truely the perfect ending to our family!!

And I think to myself, what a Wonderful World.....

I am going to try and stop watching the news. How depressing!! In the last 3 weeks there has been a child kidnapped and murdered, 2 children dead in a flash flood, a violent sexual assault, and this last Monday, a dead body discovered in a freezer!! This is just local news!! Don't even get me started on the national news. I want the world to be as simple as the movie Anchorman. You know, the top story being about a waterskiing Squirrel, or the Panda Bear at the local Zoo having a baby.

I'm done, it is depressing and I don't need it!! From now on it is reality television and the Food Network. I don't mind being an ignoramus, really, I don't.

Footings are in the hole!!

Well, after waiting for 6 months for just a hole in the ground, they also have the footings completed! We are moving now, let's get this bitch done!!

Gabe and I had cable installed at my Dads house while we are staying there. Football season is coming up and we have to have Sunday ticket. I haven't seen Gabe smile this much since the Steelers won the Superbowl this last year. Ahhh, the little pleasures in life, Cable T.V., and cement footings in our hole!! Talk about living the dream!!

Dang you Rock Star, Daaaaaang YOU!!

Okay, lately I have noticed that two of my bad habits revolve around two words! ROCK STAR! The drink, and the show. What the *f* man!

I love drinking Rock Star, I have convinced myself that unless I have had one of these bubbly beauties, I can not function. Well, the truth is that I barely function with or without it, so I think it is time to wean myself. I need a placebo, something that has no teeth rotting, heart pounding, addicting effect. Hmmmmm.......

Now for Rock Star Supernova. I love this show, LOVE IT!! I get excited for Tuesday and Wednesday nights for this reason alone. I take it personally when the person I love gets in the bottom three ( I love you Toby ) and I love watching people who suck shit and fail. I know that sounds mean, but c'mon, admit it, it's fun. I could never have enough confidence to even attempt something so bold, but there is no harm in laughing at those who SUCK!! I want Dilana to win, but I think it will come down to Dilana, Storm or Lucas. All awesome choices in my opinion. I think Toby would be good too, but I would just like to see more of him period. Shirt off please! It is a guilty pleasure, but every one has one right? Something you like but know that it is dumb?

Well, I am going to get a Rock Star and look at the message boards online to see what they are saying about the performances. Here's to guilty pleasures!!

I have a HOLE!!

The house has begun, any wagers on how long it will actually take for them to finish it??