I don't see what anyone else can see in anyone else...but you

I finally saw 'Juno' today, and what a great movie.

The whole teen pregnancy subject has been on my mind a lot lately thanks to a few family members whom I suppose think it is open invitation to take jabs at me even 15 years after the fact. I have been completely down on it, and seeing this movie brought up a few feelings which could not have been predicted. For some reason I could not stop crying. Even at the moments I found funny, I somehow I went back 15 years ago and felt myself experiencing the same thing all over again.

I have a great life. A husband who rules my world, children I adore more than anything, and I know none of it would have been possible without Adison. She started our family, she is where it all began. With that said, it didn't make it easy to grow up so fast and miss out on years of adolescence. I feel like I really put myself last for so long that I am not sure what it would be like to think of myself before others. There were moments of needing acceptance while trying to be in dependant in the movie that I could totally identify with. I am not sure if anyone who hasn't been through it would have even noticed. I truly felt this character. I loved her quick wit and admired her way of having a solution to all things happening.

I think falling in love when you are 16 years old seems unreal to most people. It even seems silly to me having a teenage daughter that she could meet someone this young who she could spend her life with. But I did. I found someone at the age of 16 who completed me so much, and am lucky enough to still have him at the age of 32.

Go see the movie, you wont regret it. It also has a killer soundtrack.

Best Christmas....EVER!!

What an awesome Christmas. I have been dreading this holiday for months. All the bullshit shopping, wondering what to get everyone, and if it is good enough. I had in mind what to get the kids, but other than that, I had no desire to even look for anyone else. After working a long day on Christmas Eve, I really started to feel it. Coming home to the kids, looking forward to the dinner with Gabe's family that night, then staying up late with Gabe after the kids had gone to bed just seemed perfect.

The kids actually slept in until 8:00, so Gabe and I had a few hours of sleep before the big day. My parents both came over to watch them open their presents. I was amazed at how truly happy and grateful the kids were. Not even one frowny face when a gift was opened, NOT even when it was underwear!! Everyone seemed to be happy and content. Just perfect.

We went over to my Mom's that afternoon for dinner with the rest of the family, which was equally awesome. After the rough year my Mom had with her health, it was so neat to see her in the Christmasiest of all Christmas moods possible. (Is that even a word? -Christmasiest.....hmmmm....whatever) Gabe went and grabbed the new guitar hero game and xbox 360 Noah got for Christmas, and had the whole family completely enthralled in the game. They were getting as excited watching it being played as the ones playing it. I totally fucked up 'Anarchy in the UK-----what a pitiful punk rocker I ended up being. Looking back on it, I just can't believe what a fucking awesome day it was, especially how I have been feeling lately.

Best parts of Christmas were-

Hearing Noah running up and down the hall after seeing Santa had been here

Zane giving himself whip lash ridding his new horse....he looked as if he were going to fly right off the thing

Addie just being sweet....it is a rare occasion lately

Watching A Christmas Story 5 times from Christmas Eve until Christmas Day

Staying up with Gabe until 3:00 in the morning putting together toys

Warm apple pie with cheese

Rain boots with skulls

Snowing Christmas Eve until Christmas morning

Perception of my obsession

It rips me up
It claws at my soul
It consumes me
Oh GOD how it fucking consumes me!!
My every thought revolves around its ever growing existence
If I only I could make it stop

Excited to go to the sneak preview of 'JUNO', but all we got was this lousy t-shirt

I was all excited to go see Juno, as I have been following Diablo Cody ever since Gabe and I bought her book Candy Girl and read it together on a flight back from Virginia almost two years ago. I am very curious to see her take on a teen pregnancy storyline, since, as you know, I myself was a teen parent. I was even more excited to see that it wasn't going to contain the usual after school special drama involving school drop outs, living on the streets, or life wasted by a huge decision too big for most adults, let alone a young kid with their whole future ahead of them.

After coming to the sad realization that we didn't have anyone to watch the boys, Gabe took Addie for a daddy-daughter date. I was jealous, but super excited to hear Gabe's perception of the movie. Well, after several text message exchanges involving the loooong ass line they were in, no fucking hot chocolate left, and free t-shirts, they were anxious to bid me far well as they were the next in line to be seated.

Sold Out, all full.

What the fuck. Seriously, that was a huge disappointment. At least they got free t-shirts. I guess I will have to wait until it hits the big screen. Like I wasn't going to see it there anyways.

Christmas Music

Last night I took the kiddos out looking at twinkly lights, and I had a sudden urge to stick on some Christmas music. Well, I found two radio stations that were playing blissful carols, and let me tell you, I would have rather been masturbating with a cactus than listening to the god awful tunes that were streaming through the speakers. Maybe it is Utah, maybe it is Christmas in general, but where is the diversity, where is the love/hate relationship that exists with the holidays. Christmas is not always the sweet perfection the songwriters would like you to believe- where is the greed, the gluttony, the absurdity?

I came home and put on The Reverend Horton Heats, We Three Kings right away. All Christmas music should be like that. Something you could sing along with, not roll your eyes to. Something you can FUCK to, not make love to, something you can enjoy and not want to stab at your ears with a sharp object. Okay, okay, okay, they are just covers of Christmas classics, but they are sooooo much better.

Bah Humbug!

My Space Whore

I did it, against all my beliefs, I now have a myspace page. I have really enjoyed looking at peoples profiles and laughing my ass off!!

http://www.myspace.com/beepersneeper

Not much to look at, very basic.

You'll Never Make It!

We left Friday for Las Vegas so Gabe could run yet another marathon. Holy shit, the dude is nuts. The drive down there sucked when we hit some bad weather, but after Gabe took the wheel, I felt much safer. Ahh, my knight in shining armor.

Once there, we did a quick wash of the ol' p.t.a. so we could head over to the House of Blues to see Social Distortion. It was kick ass. Social D is always awesome in concert.

Hey Melissa, he was wondering if you want some weed. Inside joke, sorry about that.

Saturday we left for the runners expo where Melissa and I get to pretend we are as awesome as Gabe is and stop at all the booths to discuss marathon training, healthy eating tips, etc., etc. In reality, I am just there to grab as many free samples as I can before thy give me the ol' up and down and realize I am not in any shape to be running a marathon. Hey, wait a minute.....

After that we headed over to the Bodies exhibit. I was very much against going. I get a little dizzy when looking or talking about about medical issues, so the thought of looking at bodies that have been preserved was not all that appealing to me. I was so wrong. It was the most interesting thing I have ever seen. I can not believe what complicated creatures we are. Later that night I got my drink on in the hotel. I really didn't realize how much I had drank until my words were getting a little slurry and I was not making much sense.

The next morning, Gabe left for the marathon, and we packed up so we could meet him at the first cheer spot. Once we met him at mile 7, we were around Freemont Street in the old yucky part of Vegas. There were a bunch of homeless guys yelling stuff at the runners. Our favorites were-

"You'll never make it!"

"Hey, your going the wrong way!"

"I know how long a marathon is!"

"I heard a happy little story about a girl who killed herself"

After the race, we got us some In and Out Burger then hit the road. Needless to say, Melissa and I did not run the Santa 5k we said we would. Like I said.....needless to say!